The Josh and Kat Trilogy: A Bundle of Books 1-3 Page 8

  “Motherfucker! That’s because he IS an ad for razors. Literally! He’s Cameron Schultz, Kat! Goddammit!”

  “Yeah! Schultz! That’s his last name. Now I remember. You know him?”

  “No, I don’t know him personally. I know who he is because he’s a fucking ALL-STAR! Kat, you’re on a date with the fucking shortstop for the Mariners!”

  “Oh. That’s cool. Haha! Maybe I should have asked more questions.”

  “Kat, this is my worst nightmare right now. You know that, right? I literally had this very nightmare last night,” Josh writes.

  “Why is this your nightmare?”

  “You know why. But I’m not gonna feed your ego and say it. I can play the ‘I don’t give a shit’ game, too. It doesn’t just work on professional ball players, it also works on gorgeous women who are used to men falling all over them.”

  “Okay, well, as long as neither of us gives a shit, I guess I’ll go, then. I’m on a date with an All-star baseball player, in case you didn’t know.”

  “WAIT! No. I take it back. I GIVE A SHIT! I’m coming to get you. Where are you?”

  I giggle. “Screw you, dude. I’m having fun. I’m on a date with Cameron Fucking Schulz. I’m sure he’s about to re-enact his latest razor commercial for me. Sexy!”

  “Put your fork down. My Party Girl with a Hyphen’s not allowed on a date with Cameron Fucking Schultz. Hell no. Especially when I’m in the mood to celebrate my freedom. Tonight’s MY night, Party Girl, not that dickweed’s. Tell him to step the fuck aside and let a real man show you a good time.”

  Those butterflies in my stomach just turned into bald eagles. I can’t think what to say in reply, so I just stare at my phone, freaking out.

  “Kat, tell him you’ve had a family emergency. Or that you feel sick. I don’t fucking care what you say. Just end the date. I’m coming right now. THIS IS MY FUCKING NIGHT AND YOU’RE MY GODDAMNED PARTY GIRL WITH A HYPHEN!”

  My entire body feels electrified. “OMG. You’re nuts. No.”

  Cameron clears his throat and I look up from my phone. Oh crap. Cameron’s staring at me intently. My cheeks blaze with sudden heat.

  “I’m sorry, Cameron,” I say. “I’m being rude—absolutely horrible.” I put my phone down. But then I pick it right back up. “I’m... Lemme just... I just need to say goodbye.”

  “No worries. She needs you. I understand. You’re worth the wait.” His eyes darken.

  “Thank you,” I say, blushing. “Just a minute more, I promise. And then I’m all yours.”

  He picks up his water, salutes me, and winks. “I’m gonna hold you to that.”

  “Please do,” I say, but my voice lacks its usual flirtatiousness. I bury my nose in my phone again. “Careful, Josh. You’re gonna make me sleep with Cameron just to spite you.”

  “NOT FUNNY, KAT.”

  “I’m not being funny. I’ve never slept with a pro athlete before. It’s on my list.”

  I’ve no sooner pressed send on that last text when my phone buzzes with an incoming call from Josh.

  I decline the call and put my phone back on the table, smiling at Cameron.

  “Sorry about that,” I breathe. The phone buzzes with another incoming call and I decline it again. “She’s just really needy right now,” I say, despicably spiraling into full-blown, pathological deception. “Post traumatic stress or something, poor thing.” Oh my God, I’m morally bankrupt. Heinous. Reprehensible.

  Turned-on.

  “Why don’t you just go give her a quick call?” Cameron suggests. “Make sure everything’s okay. And then we’ll start fresh, you and me.”

  I nod. “Yeah, good idea. Thanks. As long as you don’t mind.” My phone buzzes with another incoming call and I decline it. “I’m just gonna step out front, real quick, call her, see if everything’s okay, and then I’ll put my phone away for the rest of the night. I promise.”

  The waiter comes to the table with my martini and sets it in front of me. “Are we ready to order?”

  My phone buzzes with another call and I decline it.

  “I don’t think we’re ready to order yet—” Cameron begins.

  “No, no, I’m ready,” I say. “I’ll only be gone a minute, I promise.”

  He smiles at me.

  I quickly place my order with the waiter, take a huge swig of my martini, and then another, and sprint outside, gripping my phone with white knuckles as I go. I’m scum right now. A lying, deceitful, insincere piece of shit. But I can’t help it. I feel like a junkie hankering for her next fix—and Josh Faraday is most definitely my next fix.

  The chilly night air feels like a slap to my face—which is good. Maybe it’ll slap some sense into me. I’m being an absolute nightmare right now. A female-asshole, which is a massive step above bitch. Oh my God, I need to stop this. I’m on a date with Cameron. He’s hot. He’s a professional athlete. He’s sweet—like a Boy Scout. Jeez, the man’s pursued me through two cancellations of our dinner date. I’ve got to go back in there and give him my undivided attention. He deserves that much. And I will. Just as soon as I talk to Josh for a teensy-weensy second.

  I press the button to call Josh.

  “Oh my fucking God!” Josh shouts in my ear the minute the call connects. “Just the thought of you sleeping with Cameron Fucking Schultz is turning me into my goddamned brother. I’m coming to get you. Tell me where you are. You’re not allowed to be on a date!”

  I laugh. “Oh, please. I’ve seen your Instagram account, Josh. You’re not exactly a monk.”

  “Don’t believe everything you see. I just got propositioned by a bisexual supermodel the other day and I turned her down.”

  I laugh. “Well, give the man a medal.”

  “Tell me where you are.”

  “No.”

  He’s silent for a long beat. I can practically hear his gears turning. “Are you gonna turn this guy down or what?” he finally asks, his voice intense.

  “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

  “Oh my fucking—”

  “Josh, you’re assuming he’s gonna make me some kind of offer. There might not be anything to turn down.”

  “Ha! Kat, gimme a fucking break. Of course, the guy’s gonna make you an offer.”

  “Not ‘of course.’ We might not hit it off. You never know.”

  “Kat, Jesus. Don’t act like you don’t know you’re literally the most gorgeous girl on planet earth. You’re physical perfection and any man who meets you is gonna want to sleep with you and he’s gonna pull out all the stops to seduce you.”

  I’m speechless. He just said things that would rock any girl’s world—and he said them like he was rattling off state capitals.

  “So, are you gonna turn him down or not?”

  “You think I’m the most gorgeous girl on planet earth?” I ask, my mouth still hanging open.

  He exhales with exasperation, like I’m asking a stupid question. “Of course. You’re insanity—a fantasy come to life. You must know that.”

  My heart is suddenly pounding in my ears.

  “You’re drop-dead gorgeous,” he continues, his voice shifting from matter-of-fact to something distinctly sexual. “Anyone who sees you is gonna want you. It’s fucking primal. Anyone would want you.”

  “Anyone?” I ask, clearly asking if that word includes Josh.

  “Anyone. Jesus, Kat. Of course. That little cleft in your chin?” He makes a sound like I just licked his dick. “I’ve got a hard-on just thinking about it. God help me if I ever get to touch it, I’m gonna lose my fucking mind.”

  I swallow hard.

  “And on top of all that, you’re funny and sassy, too. You’re the whole package, Kat. A fucking eleven.”

  Holy shitballs, I wanna have sex with this man. If we were alone right now, my clothes would already be off and my legs spread. A thought pings my brain like a pebble against a window: What did you ask for in your application to The Club, Josh Faraday?

  “So, where are you?�
� Josh says softly, like he’s luring a rescue puppy with a hunk of sausage. “I wanna celebrate my newfound freedom tonight with my Party Girl with a Hyphen and I won’t take no for an answer.”

  I can barely breathe. “I can’t, Josh,” I finally say. “I’m not gonna do that to Cameron. I’m a bitch, but I’m not that big a bitch. We’ll celebrate tomorrow.”

  “Aw, come on, Kat. If you’re willing to meet me tomorrow night, that means you already know you’re not gonna be on a date with Cameron Schulz tomorrow night, which means you already know you’re not gonna sleep with him tonight, which means there’s no point in going through the motions with him anymore. Under the circumstances, the kind and efficient thing to do, therefore, is to stop wasting everyone’s time and come hang out with the guy you actually want to sleep with tonight. It’s the kindest thing you could possibly do, Kat—don’t you wanna be a kind person?”

  “And you’re assuming the guy I actually want to sleep with is you?”

  “Of course. It’s no big secret.”

  I scoff. “You’re awfully cocky.”

  “No, I’m confident—and with very good reason.”

  Oh man, that last comment sent a shiver down my spine. “I wouldn’t be so confident, if I were you,” I say. “I haven’t spent five uninterrupted minutes with Cameron, thanks to you—with a little time, we might really hit it off. You never know. Maybe I will be sleeping with him tomorrow night. Hell, maybe I’ll throw caution to the wind and sleep with him tonight.”

  Josh’s voice shifts to something animalistic. “Kat, fuck that shit right now. I’m the sane twin compared to my brother, but I’m still a fucking Faraday—you can’t say that fucking shit to me. Do you understand me?”

  Oh, his voice is so fucking sexy right now, I’m wetting the cotton crotch of my undies.

  His voice turns into a low, intense growl. “You like torturing me. Is that it? It gets you off?”

  I’m so freaking wet. Oh my God, I want him. “Yeah, actually. It does.”

  “Oh my fucking God,” he replies. “Go back in there and tell him you’ve got to go. Tell him you got a better offer from a man who’s gonna make you scream tonight.”

  My heart is racing. The cool air on my face is doing nothing to calm my raging arousal right now.

  “Come on, Kat. Do it now. Right now. I’ve got such a big fucking hard-on for you right now—and I know exactly how to use it.”

  “You’d make me scream, huh?”

  “Oh yeah. You bet. All night long, baby.”

  “Coming from a guy who joined a sex club, I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. Would you make me scream your name or scream for the police?”

  He laughs. “You’ll just have to roll the dice and find out, baby. Either way, you’ll thank me.”

  I let out a shaky breath and shift my weight. I feel like every drop of blood and fluid in my body has flooded into my crotch all at once.

  “You know how this story ends every bit as much as I do, Party Girl,” he coos. “Let’s cut out the middle bullshit and get to the good stuff. Because, trust me, the good stuff is really, really good.”

  “I don’t have any idea how this story ends.”

  “Yes, you do.”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “Well, I do. And, believe me, it’s so fucking good it’s gonna make you drip down your thighs.”

  My clit flutters. So, it turns out Josh Faraday’s a dirty-talker, huh? He just gets better and better. I take a deep breath. “It’s gonna be that good, huh?”

  “So. Fucking. Good. Oh my God. Best you ever had.”

  If I weren’t on a public sidewalk right now, my fingers would already be inside my panties. “What’d you ask for in your application, Josh?” I purr.

  He exhales. “You’ll just have to roll the dice and find out, Party Girl. Come on, Kat. YOLO. I’ve got a boner the size of the Space Needle for you right now. I jacked off in the shower yesterday, thinking about you. Don’t make me do it again tonight. What a waste of an epic boner. Come on.”

  Oh man, he’s making me so aroused, I can’t think straight. “What’d you write in your application, Josh?” I ask. “Tell me and maybe I’ll tell Cameron I feel a migraine coming on.”

  “I don’t negotiate with terrorists,” he says. “Just tell me where you are.”

  I laugh, even though I don’t want to do it.

  “YOLO, Kat,” he whispers like he’s trying to put me into a trance. “YOOOOOLO.”

  I laugh again and shake my head, bringing myself to my senses. “Are you gonna tell me what you asked for in your application or not?”

  “Not. You just have to roll the dice. That’s half the fun of fucking someone new. Come on.”

  I’m pissed as hell he won’t tell me. Didn’t I just say I’d ditch Cameron if he told me? That’d be an exceedingly bitchy, heartless thing to do to the guy—and I’m still willing to do it for him—even though Cameron is a goddamned Major League baseball player, too. Well, now I’m pissed.

  “Come on, Kat. YOLO,” Josh coos, clearly still thinking he’s got a chance of getting what he wants.

  “Nope. I’m not gonna be a total bitch to Cameron. And I’m not gonna sleep with you without knowing what I’m getting myself into. So forget it.”

  “Tell him you’ve gotta go. Right now.”

  “No. We’ve already ordered our food—really expensive, nice food. Surf and turf.”

  “Wow. Big spender.”

  “Stop it. He’s nice—a really sweet guy. He doesn’t even drink.”

  Josh bursts out laughing. “What? Oh my God. He just gets better and better.”

  I’m smiling so big, my cheeks hurt.

  Oh man, Josh is laughing his ass off like I’ve just said the funniest thing in the world. “Fun guy,” he finally chokes out. “Oh yeah, you’re having a blast, Party Girl.” He laughs again. “No wonder you’re talking to me instead of sitting with him. You couldn’t get away from him fast enough.”

  “A guy doesn’t have to drink to be fun. I think it’s awesome Cameron doesn’t drink—it shows he’s got discipline.”

  “Pfft,” Josh scoffs. “No, you don’t think it’s awesome. You were mortified when he told you, admit it.”

  I audibly shrug. He’s right, of course. But wild horses couldn’t make me admit that to him right now. “Why don’t we just see each other tomorrow night?” I purr.

  Josh exhales. “I can’t. I’m headed to New York tomorrow on the early flight on business. And then I gotta be in LA for a couple days on a deal. I won’t be able to get back to Seattle for at least a week.”

  I make an “oh well” sound. In all honesty, I’m wildly disappointed, but I’m not gonna let him know that. “Well, then, I guess we’ll be seeing each other in a week or so,” I say primly. “If ever.”

  He makes an exasperated noise.

  “Assuming you’ve sent me your application to The Club by then, of course,” I add. “Since that’s a required prerequisite of me going out with you.”

  He makes a scoffing sound.

  I ignore him. “Oh, and assuming I’m not impregnated by Cameron Schulz by then—which is entirely possible.”

  Josh makes a caveman roar that shocks the hell out of me. “Fuck this, Kat!” he booms. “Tell that boring, sober motherfucker to fuck off right now. I mean it. No more bullshit. I’m coming to get you. Tell me where you are.”

  I can only imagine how shocked my face looks right now. I must look like that emoji with wide eyes. I didn’t expect that kind of volcanic reaction. Jeez. It came out of nowhere. He always seems so laid back. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.

  “Are you there?” Josh barks.

  “Yeah.”

  “Enough with the bullshit, Kat. Playtime’s over. You don’t wanna be with Cameron Fucking Schulz tonight and you know it. You wanna be with me. Now tell me where you are because I’m coming to get you.”

  Kerzoinks, as Sarah would say. Sounds like he’s got something of a jealou
s streak. Ha! Well, he’s in for a rude awakening. Because Kat Morgan doesn’t do jealous-boyfriend bullshit. Ever. Wait. What am I thinking? Josh isn’t even my boyfriend! We’re not even dating! Why would he think, even for a minute, he’s in any position to tell me what to do?

  “Hmm,” I say calmly, like he just asked me for directions to the nearest gas station. “I don’t think so, Playboy. Caveman shit doesn’t really work with me, you ought to know.”

  He’s either fuming or coming on the other end of the line—I’m not sure which. By the noise he just made, it could be either.

  “You know what I think’s gonna happen right now? I’m gonna hang up the phone and go back into the restaurant and have a nice meal with a very sweet guy who politely asked me out to a very nice restaurant, and rescheduled twice despite his very busy schedule, and who’s treated me with nothing but respect all night long—and who, it turns out, happens to be the starting shortstop for the Mariners. Who knew?”

  Josh makes another raging caveman noise. “Kat. I’m not kidding. Stop fucking around and tell him—”

  “So I guess I’ll see you soon, whenever you’re in Seattle next—if I’m not already desperately in love with Cameron Schulz and carrying his love child by then.”

  “Kat.”

  “What?”

  “Fuck.”

  I don’t reply.

  “Come on,” he says. “Stop it.”

  He’s clearly used to getting whatever he wants, when he wants it.

  “Travel safe, Josh. I really do hope to see you soon.”

  “Kat.”

  I’m about to hang up, but his tone is so emphatic, I feel compelled to stay on the line. “What?”

  He exhales. There’s a long beat as he collects himself. “YOLO, Kat,” he says earnestly.

  I bite my lip. Oh, he’s good. He’s really good. A giggle escapes my mouth, even though I don’t want it to.

  Oh man. I want him. He’s one hundred percent right. But I’ve got a problem. I make it a rule never to sleep with a man on a first date if I’m interested in him as potential boyfriend-material. It’s a rule I never break. I’m not quite sure if all my interactions with Josh add up to the equivalent of a first date or not, but I don’t want to risk it. But, regardless of my stupid rule (because if ever there was a time to break my rule, it’s now, with Josh), if Josh is leaving on a flight to New York first thing tomorrow, then tonight’s not our night, anyway. Something tells me when I finally get to take a big ol’ bite out of this particular man’s ass—and I’m not being figurative there—I’m gonna wanna go back for seconds and thirds and fourths and fifths. I exhale a long, shaky breath. It’s been so freaking long since I’ve felt even a glimmer of what I’m feeling right now, I don’t want to fuck it up by being Classic Kat.